The World I Live In

Cheaters.
so, today i set my status as "80% of marriages are affected by infidelity."
then, my best friend texted me and told me she'd been cheated on. well, what the hell? what is this shit?! SERIOUSLY! is it so much to ask for a little kindness? a little dignity? keep it in your fucking pants! it honestly isn't that difficult. some examples: these are just 4 of my friends, there are a lot more examples i could give you.    
1- dating her boyfriend for over a year, he had sex with several girls. she stayed with him   
 2- dating her boyfriend for over a year, he kissed another girl. she stayed with him   
 3- dating her boyfriend for a few months, he had sex with several girls. he broke up with her    
4- dated a girl for 6 months, she had sex with other guys. my friend left her

this is not just guys cheating on girls, it's girls cheating on guys. and honestly, i wouldn't be surprised if more girls cheated than guys do. people are animalistic, and they generally want 1 thing. and 1 thing only. if they are not getting that from their relationship, or if they want to try something different, they cheat.

now, you might say, "Hey, 2 of your friends didn't leave their boyfriends after they found out the cheated. why is that? they're really stupid!" No, they are not stupid, you are not STUPID if you don't leave after being cheated on. If you note the statistic of 80% of infidelity in marriages, then how come only 50% of the marriages end in divorce? there is 30% of people that don't want to leave because they have FINALLY found what they believe is love. humans search for pleasure, but then we also search for love.
apparently, most of us cannot have both.

if you have been cheated on, look for someone who respects you, that's the basis of love. trust and respect

and if you have cheated on someone, leave them, they really don't deserve you. and, hey, you can make all the excuses you want, and most people will forgive you...  but i can't. you could have simply just left the person, but do not leave them hanging on a rope while you're out fucking anything that walks.

 heavy breathing over the phone.
giggling,
talking,
don't tell me you're alone.
your voice cracks.
and i can see that faint smile in your eyes.
you're next to her.
and i shouldn't be surprised.
meet me for dinner?
no thanks, you're a bit tied up.
tied to another woman that you've got in love.
and i'll tell you you're important.
and i guess it's true.
because otherwise why would i still be here?
pretending i don't know what is really going on.
i guess im in love with you. 

moved to a new school.
life has been wild.
and damn, i love it.
it's wild, yet serene, no drama, no problems.. just beauty and love.

last night i went to a big outdoor concert with my sister... one of my all time favorite hiphop groups was playing.
it was shockingly, probably... the second best night of my life.
an old crush was there and i totally made him pissed he didn't try for me when he had the chance, i looked hot!
and 2 guys flirted with me! which is... unheard of, i felt very gorgeous. God, i love summer.

after the concert got done i talked to my hiphop idol! i told him that his music inspired some of my poetry, and he seemed pretty pleased. it was amazing!

then, this morning, my parents and i were going to eat out and we passed the people from American Pickers, that show... you probably don't know it, but the skinny dude- Mike and Danielle.....yeah... they're  kind of dicks.
but the fat guy was cool. anyways, i dislike that show now, because i don't like dick-ish people, but it was still cool to meet them, and shake hands. :]

this is kind of just for myself. i mean, you people can read it, but it probably won't make sense because i'm not gonna go into detail.  this is my post about every bad thing [every bad thing i can remember] i've ever done.

age 3-8- cousin taylor
age 8-11- tried to kill myself several different times [i was an f-ed up kid]
5th grade- said 'fuck' for the first time
5th grade- me and my friend brionna fucked with the bus driver. a lot. [threw shit at him, pretended to beat eachother up until he pulled over the bus, broke the radiator, put easily rotting foods next to his seat, did a fake interview to get hilarious answers from him, and many other things]
6th grade- lost my mom's wedding ring [she still doesn't know... it's a long, sad story]
6th-7th grade- liked a boy i met online
7th grade- i threw a carrot at a kid and got a detention because of it
8th grade- snuck out several times
             -with courtney, on top of elementary school
             -with sydney, wall of different elementary school
             -with courtney, we were very bored and wandered
             -with lily, a walk all night trying to get to the nearest town [valley]
             -with lily and courtney, a walk all night trying to get to the nearest town [valley]
             -with shelbie, we got like a block away and got really freaked out so we came back
             -with lily and her cousin ashley, met up with our neighbor grant... and ate pancakes
             -snuck out of my house to meet lily
             -courtney, sydney, lily, and i... meeting up with noah and sheldon [night of trampoline]
8th grade- skipped play practice all the time, when confronted about it i cried and made up this whole lie about being in a really rough situation ect, ect.
8th grade- talked shit about lily to conner. yeah, stupid
8th grade- syd and i hung with the 'guys' at the elm
8th grade- took my shirt off at end of the year party
freshmen- took some unknown pills
freshmen- got drunk in a closet with my cousin
freshmen- smoked a piece in garretson with courtney
freshmen- uv blue in garretson with courtney [played poker with drunk guys]
freshmen- hacked into lily's facebook
freshmen- ruined lily's rep
freshmen- stole chapstick from syd
freshmen- stole 'something' from target
freshmen- showed something on omegle [twice] IM NOT A WHORE!
freshmen- made 6 fakes for revenge
freshmen- spent the night at kirby's with several guys and courtney like 3 different times
freshmen- courtney and i spent the night at stevens
freshmen- courtney and i smoked at trevor's
freshmen- hid instead of ran in cross country
freshmen- ate cake at a kids house instead of ran cross country
freshmen- slept at brandon's friend's dad's apartment with court and some uv blue
freshmen- lied to following about hanging out with lily
             -shelbie
            -mom and dad
            -amber
            -mark
            -syd
            -court
            -erin
freshmen- snuck out with syd into rain storm
freshmen- snuck out to hang with wooney kids
freshmen- subtext and addy [dani, mark, der, and lily]
freshmen- addy [danni and mark]
freshmen- held onto some weed for some people while they were getting searched
freshmen- bad bad bad bad fucked up night with lemon flavored vodka, I HATE ALCOHOL [mark, der, and lily]
freshmen- tent with court, mark, and syd... they drank, i did not.
freshmen- sneaking out with mark, bailey, and amber on four-wheeler
freshmen- JAZZFEST snuck out with lily, der, and hailey [caught, but lied our asses off and lily didn't have to go to jail]
freshmen- lily, der and k2
freshmen- week alone: shelbie, amber, and mark/ erin/ erin/ der, and lily/ t-money, lily, and der/ mark, syd, and court/ no one/ erin/ erin.